Sunday, 19 June 2016

Times your life was like Bridget Jones

So deep down its like every girls fear that her destiny will reach that of Bridget Jones tragic status. You know the one, where her life is an ultimate catastrophe and she's forever alone? No? Just me? ....
 
Well, it turns out that your life most likely WONT end up like that per say, however, you will find aspects of your life slowly morphing with that of a scene from a Bridget Jones movie.
Your relationship status being the favourable topic at every family event
Christmas, Birthdays, Family meals, you name it. Mine was at a family wedding last year when every member of my family, families neighbours best friends and sisters dog (slight exaggeration) spent any spare moment they could find asking me when I was getting married and declaring that I'd be next. Naturally the only way I could cope with this situation was finding refuge in many sambucca shots at the bar and lastly to be finished off by the sympathy glass of whiskey my dad bought me which caused me to swear at my family (in front of the bride), sing '22' by Taylor Swift all the way home in the family taxi and throw up on exit from John Lewis the next day. Stay classy people.

Owning Bright Jones giant panties 
This one I've actually been proud of for quite some years. Fellas I am going to be honest and say sexy  lace underwear is no way comfy. We take refuge in oversized cotton granny pants. There was that time (and I have definitely told this story before on my blog) that my mum (I was like 18 okay chill) bought me some proper M&S cotton granny pants for Christmas. Not overly enthused by them, I left them at home and headed back to uni (Secretly I was happy cause my mahoosive bum would forever reside in cotton comfort). To my horror my mum posted them back to me and they were that big the postman couldn't deliver them through the front door and so the packaging ripped....*dies*

Wardrobe malfunction at your crucial moments
I swear I have more wardrobe malfunctions than your average Joe. Damn you average Joe! My latest was on my first week of my new job, you know that crucial time when it's important to make a good impression? I had bought an entire new wardrobe to suit my new career, including a long navy blue midi pencil dress. To my absolute horror, within 5 minutes of being in my new office, the dress thread had ripped at the bottom and progressively began to open up from the bottom to the top. Social media specialist by day, slow and progressive stripper by night. Cheers for that Dorothy Perkins!
 
Outrageous drunken behaviour in front of important people
Yes okay judge me, I clearly seem to get drunk at the worst times. Including at my boyfriends sisters baby shower ( which by the way, I  think is outrageous that it isn't acceptable to get drunk at such occasions!) which resulted in a drunken game of cards against humanity with my boyfriends family (those who have played this game know it is not the kind of game you play with anyone but your closest friends) and my boyfriend pretty much carrying me out of his dad's house and all the way home. Once again, stay classy people. 

Now you may say, jeez Laura, stop getting drunk at family events! But let's face it, sometimes we need the odd glass of wine or two for courage....and sanity. 

I think the moral of the story is, girls often watch those cheesy American chick flicks where the girl gets the guy and all is well. When realistically life is a bit more like Bridget Jones, granny pants and walks disasters. And I don't really know where I am going with apart from to say, whatever mortifyingly bad thing has happened to you, I can guarantee worse has probably happened to me.
 
Stay classy ladies
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2 comments

  1. Love this!! Literally my life as well, especially the wardrobe malfunctions, I'm always wearing ridiculous outfits and experiencing my boobs popping out or my jeans splitting (oops) #life

    xxxxx

    Y x | www.thesweetsevenfive.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha we're a fine Bridget Jones species!

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