Wednesday, 2 April 2014

#BlogConfession

Hey there my lovelies. We're gonna get deep down and personal for this post. Grab you blankets, your Ben & Jerrys, stick on your favourite chick flick soundtrack and come gather all around. Okay it's not that personal but I want you to be comfortable and to have all of your emotional needs met whilst you're reading my posts. I cares for you I does.



This post covers something that comes up a lot in conversation with other bloggers but also was widely explored in this weeks #Bloghour. #Bloghour is a weekly twitter chat every Tuesday at 9-10 hosted by the UK Blog Awards. It's a really great way to get your blog out there but also to discover other bloggers and learn all sorts! To the point, last night #blogconfessions came up. My blogging confession is that no one I know personally knows about my blog. A couple of close friends/people I trust know about it but that's it. Oh and my mum is aware of it. A lot of kind people on twitter were trying to encourage me to be proud of my blog and show it off. To not care about what my friends and associates think of it. For me this is more easily said then done.

Lets paint a picture here. When I was a kid I was bursting with confidence. I loved to perform, I loved to be the center of attention (Yehuh stroppy often came up in conversation) and I was popular in the playground and classroom for well, me being me. Anyways, that all changed when I went to high school. My high school is the kind of place where unless you're a chav and have the majority of the year (There were over 300 of us) on your side, you were going to have it tough. Different from the norm didn't settle well in high school, well, does it anywhere? So as I wasn't a chav, as I didn't have the majority of 300 pupils wanting to be in my crowd and because my interest and music tastes were different, I faced a five years of idiocy in the classroom and playground. My high school was full of arseholes, that's all you really need to know. I remember my first music lessons in year 7 where we had to perform in front of our class. I performed a rendition of Complicated by Avril Lavigne. My form were impressed as was my music teacher who wanted me to join choir. However that ended there. In year 9 my other music teacher overheard me singing Wonderwall with a friend on guitar and asked me to perform in front of the class and to take music GCSE. I said no to both. If someone asked me to perform in front of my form or anyone in my school for that matter, I'd of ran and hid in a toilet never to be seen again.  So somewhere in those five years of high school my confidence became smaller and smaller.

Anyways, I survived high school, made it to college and things were all good. I had a great set of new friends, new subjects to learn, new teachers to befriend/unfriend and 2 years of amazing memories. I then ended up at uni and then we get to here right now.

I love my blog. I think it's my greatest achievement. It's opened up so many doors to me. New job prospects, new opportunities and new friends. It's also been successful on various platforms (have you seen my google plus views?!). People all over the world are reading my blog which I find incredible. My blogger stats tell me I'm most popular in America which is so exciting. *Waves at american readers*. Each week blogging brings a new adventure, whether it's meeting a new blogger, reaching a blogging milestone or being contacted by someone who has read my blog and wants to talk. Blogging to me is more then just my hobby, it is my lifestyle (ehmehgerd so cringe and soppy right now).There's nothing but pride here. Yet when it comes to showing my friends I couldn't think of anything worse. Someone said to me on twitter last night 'It's not my blog that would get judged, it would be me'. I feel that. I'm pretty sure if 10 year old drama queen Laura were here she'd slap me, tell me to stop being a scaredy cat and go and be the star of the show. I agree with 10 year old Laura but then 16 year old Laura whispers in the corner that it isn't a good idea.

My confidence is definitely on the up. I always throw myself into everything because I love a challenge and to further myself. A little bit of 10 year old Laura who remains to still put up a fight gets more acquainted with 21 year old Laura everyday. In fact, I think a lot of 10 year old Laura is reflected in this blog. We make a good team I must say. She has such sass. I also get a lot of support from readers which boosts my confidence by 100%. I know at some point I am going to let people I know see my blog. I just take this 'Don't ask, don't tell approach' right now'. No one is asking if I own a blog so I'm not telling. Technically that's not really hiding my blog right? However it is getting confusing having 2 twitter accounts, especially when I actually prefer the twitter account I promote my blog on.



So, there is my blogging confession. Do you have any? Have you ever secretly hid your blog and eventually revealed it? I'd love to hear it!

L.Bel xoxo

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