Thursday, 6 February 2014

The Tale Of A Students Worst Nightmare...

First of all, I come grovelling to you in deep shame. I am so sorry for my lack of blogging. I'm such a busy bunny I spend 9-5 in the library, come home and work/make tea and then fall asleep by 8. There is no party animal in this student I can tell you now!



'Group Presentations' - The two worst words you can say to a student. Why? Here's why:


  • There's Always One - One student who is more absent in group meetings then a single person in a restaurant on Valentines day. This person tends not to reply to any group emails arranging to meet up regardless of how aggressive they get. If you're lucky enough to gain an appearance it's only to inform you of some lame excuse as to why they can't attend only they're too stupid to realize we can all see those club photos they were tagged in the night before. Do I smell a hangover? The best excuse I faced was when one certain guy who I wont name ignored all our emails for 2 weeks and then on presentation day emailed our lecturer claiming he has a suspected broken ankle. Nothing says 'suspected broken ankle' like bumping into them after the presentation on your walk home. Awkwardness and stupidity come to mind...


  • Contentless - Not only are you dealing with Mr Absentee but there is always little miss I'm to busy with my social life to actually do the prep reading. Therefore they hope they can blag their way through the meetings in hopes you will carry them the rest of the way. The ultimate little miss I'm to busy with my social life to do any work act is to actually copy and paste paragraphs from the prep reading and try to pass it off as their own contribution. Once again, stupidity comes to mind...

  • Public Humiliation - During group presentations in front of an entire lecture hall always guarantees public humiliation. It's just unavoidable. The worst cases for me were ,firstly, when PowerPoint decided to rearrange my slides from my laptop to the projector therefore making me look like a ditsy and clueless student and secondly, that frequent inability to talk where my mouth seizes up in fear and all that will come out of my mouth is 'flabablahflaflaflabba - BLEURGH' leading to an audience of laughter...

  • The Firing Line - Once the hell on earth process of doing your presentation is over you then have to stand in a line with your group and do the god awful act of answering questions from the audience. Most of the audience don't actually care for they see group presentations as a right of not having to do the reading and are more bothered with checking Facebook then watching you squirm in the spotlight. However there is ALWAYS one irritating student who asks a question that takes you at least 5 minutes to understand what they're asking let alone come up with a response that sounds just as intellectual whilst avoiding the glare of your lecturer who realises you just googled the entire topic and make your presentation from a wikipedia page.
All in all, group presentations are a complete disaster and I swear lecturers only set them to provide entertainment for themselves and to get out of lecturing for an hour. 

I have a group presentation in 2 weeks. Needless to say once again I face sending abusive emails to gain the attention of the absentee and to get Mr I can't be arsed to do the reading to actually read something that isn't the start of a wiki page. This time I'm considering necking a few shots of tequila before I stand in the firing line...

Wish me luck

L.Bel xoxo

p.s. If you are guilty of any of the above, I will find you.....
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