Thursday, 12 December 2013

The Results Of The Dreaded Haircut...

I REALLY do not want to do any work right now so I figured I could write a quick and cheeky blog post instead.

I'm doing this on request from a couple of you readers out there who wanted to know the results of the dreaded haircut. I'm gonna be honest, it was bad. Well, the haircut itself is for the best but the experience was definitely more humiliating then I expected. So here is how the story goes...(If you have just tuned into my blog please read here to get the background story before you continue)

I walked into the salon with a couple of minutes to spare, my usual hairdresser was finishing of a client and told me to take a seat in which I did. Now I don't know whether this is just me but does anyone else before they go to the hairdressers try to ensure their hair doesn't look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards beforehand? Yet no matter how hard you try to make yourself look less cave-woman in a museum and more L'Oreal advert, as soon as you walk into the hairdressers your inferior dead and damaged locks don't stand a chance against the glamour around you. It's like when you walk through the door you enter a portal that strips your hair of its dignity and you look like you haven't washed your hair in a thousand years. No? Anyone get that? Just me then?....

So I took my place on the chair and let my hairdresser gaze upon the mess that was my head.Normally I'd state what needed doing, my hairdresser would make a couple of suggestions and then off we go. Only this was not the case this time. I made one tiny 'So my hair has kind of grown out a bit lopsided due to a bad haircut from a salon at uni..' and all of a sudden it's

'Whoa your hair is wonky'

and then

'oh my gosh no seriously that is really uneven?'


'Wow let me just go and grab the back mirror so you can see what it looks like properly'

Well last time I checked it was my hair on my head and therefore I was fully aware and have been for the past 7 months about how wonky it is...but no she insisted on highlighting to me the extent of the travesty that was my hair. Only at this point she had made such a big deal the entire salon had heard and customers and hair dressers alike were all slowly edging towards me to watch the circus act. It was one of those 'can the ground swallow me up so deep I end up in Australia?'

After a 10 minute viewings for the world and his wife to come and stare and make a 'Gosh that's uneven' comment I was quickly whisked away to the backroom (my hair began scaring the other customers, clearly) where I was ducked under a sink in what felt like an 'A&E' operating theater as my hairdresser frantically ran around yelling 'CAN WE GET SOME REVIVAL TREATMENT IN HERE PLEASE, REVIVAL TREATMENT NOW!'..... Oh god was my hair that far gone?!

Due to the unevenness of my hair (did I mention my hair was wonky?, I didn't think anyone was aware of that fact yet) I had to have a hell of a lot cut off which is sad as I had spent so long growing it. But then again, it needed to happen.

The cherry on top of all hairdressing treatments is the process of 'slicking down'. Girls, you know what I mean. When they straighten your hair to an inch within its life and then apply layers of hairspray and wax so that no hair can ever stray ever again for the next 24 hours. As my hair is so thin, the slicking down process tends to make me look like a child of the 90s. So for your amusement I here provide a photo of the results as well as a couple of photos of my now lookalikes...

if my hair was any shorter I reckon I could play Edward Furlong's 'John Connor' in Terminator 2


I could be backing dancer in Nirvana's 'Smells like teen spirit' music video yes?

So there we have it. This makes a great tutorial of how to go from 'Lop sided cave woman' to '90s grunge child'. I'm pretty sure that's a trend for Topshop anyways so there is my silver lining/

Now lets see if I can beat that 7 month avoiding the hairdressers record....

L.Bel xoxo

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