Thursday, 24 October 2013

The Confessions Of How To Embarrass Yourself At Uni...

You just gotta laugh it off....and then run.

Being about as graceful as an elephant in a tutu and holding such Bridget Jones-esque nature, embarrassing moments seem to happen left right and center. After a while you begin to accept their frequency and become so custom to them that you tend to almost be immune to the feeling of 'embarrassment'.  So I thought I'd compile my top 5 embarrassing moments at university and give you something to laugh at- Enjoy!

1. The Fall. Now this one wouldn't be as humiliating as it seems if it wasn't for it being the very first night of freshers. I'd been abandoned in an unknown city by my parents, placed in a flat with 12 people I didn't know and been told to get drunk, stick on fancy dress and party. I'd been participating in the predrinking games since 5pm with my new flat. We then headed out to an organised event on campus aka a tent on a hill with a DJ in it. Everything was plain sailing considering I'd only known these people for around 8 hours. I'll admit I had handled my vodka poorly and it was only downhill from there...literally. We were walking up the hill to the tent when my heels slid in the grass and being so lost in a blur of vodka, I could not regain my balance and rolled on down the hill. They say graceful is my middle name....not.

2. The 'Sorry I'm Late...Oh'. Okay, this one was no way near my fault. Some cruel son of a gun who works on timetables decided to schedule one of my seminars on one side of campus and then another seminar, straight after, on the opposite side of campus giving me exactly 60 seconds to get from one to another. My campus is so big it actually takes 15 minutes at a push to get from one side of campus to the other. You see my problem? With it being the start of term I didn't want to make a bad impression on my tutor by being late so I hastily jogged across campus to my second seminar. It was dark, it had been a long day, I was tired, suffering freshers flu and I had never been in said set building before and therefore had no idea where I was going. Needless to say I made it to the building, hastily jogged down the corridor through a large of group of people, spotted my room number and noticing everyone was already sat down with notebooks I burst into the room. Grasping for breathe I managed to force out a 'Sorry I'm late'. Only to receive blank stairs from the entire room including the tutor. I paused for a moment...oh crap. 'This isn't Sociology is it?' to which the entire room burst out laughing. I quickly turned to run out the room only to walk into the door (You just can't make this stuff up). Once I escaped the box and left the laughter behind I was quickly faced with my real tutor, who was also the head of the module. He kindly greeted me with the words 'Yeah...I was gonna stop you from doing that but you were in so fast'. Well at least I mad a lasting impression right? I didn't manage to make many friends in that seminar either....

3. One Student, two flights of stairs and one cup of Coffee. Working in the library is hard. No I lie, working in the library is about as exciting as watching paint dry. No I lie again, watching paint dry is actually more exciting. Everyone needs a boost of coffee in the library. After a quick visit to the cafe I was hastily heading back to my spot in the library, coffee in hand and a sense of pride and sophistication in my walk. Pride and sophistication clearly being a blinding factor as I successfully managed to slip on the carpet and stumble up the library stairs, coffee in hand no more and with an academic audience to watch. When I quickly tried to get up, holding any dignity I had left, I successfully slipped and fell back down again. Does anyone else see a reoccurring pattern here with my walking abilities?

4. Don't get your knickers in a twist. It was the end of term and we were deep cleaning our student squalor. In the midst of this deep clean I had put on a wash (yes the myth was a lie, students really do their own laundry) and was hanging out my clothes to dry. I came back to the living room to see I had accidentally dropped a pair of knickers (Don't get excited boys, Bridget Jones only has granny pants). Just as I had scooped up my not so sexy knickers to hang upstairs to dry, my housemate cried out in crisis from the kitchen. I had panicked, hesitated on what to do with my damp granny pants before I went to my housemates rescue. The logical thing to do at the time was to shove them in my coat pocket (hanging in the hallway) and retrieve them later. Weeks to come when I was back in the land of parents cooking and free bills I was watching TV on the sofa, all was at peace. My mum and dad saw it was time to collect my little bro from work. With it being only a 10 minute drive, my mum grabbed the nearest coat she could find and put it on. To my horror she placed her hands in her pocket only to pull out a pair of my granny pants. The look of confusion on my parents faces with forever haunt me. Still to this day they don't believe my story.

5. Love is blind: FACT. Being the studious girl that I am, I had picked up a book from the library and was checking it out at the check out machine. I got my belongings together and began to walk away to see a nice looking guy looking at me. I smiled and headed on home. On my journey home I was soon overtaken by said mystery library boy. Ahead of my he had stopped at my crossing, glancing back we eye contact. As I headed closer to him I was so keen on looking cool and sweet. In fact I would say I was focused on looking cool and sweet. So focused that I failed to notice the lamppost I so gracefully collided with. Let's just say there wont be a wedding anytime soon....

The moral of the story is, don't drink, always check your entering the right room, walk slow with coffee, hold onto your knickers and avoid lampposts at all costs. Now surely I can't be the only one embarrassing myself on a regular basis? I want to hear your most embarrassing stories. Come on, we're all friends here ;)

L.Bel xoxo

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