Tuesday, 9 July 2013

The Confessions Of Why It Sucks Being A Girl...Besides The Obvious.

Okay there are the obvious reasons why it sucks being a girl that are made clear to the world and then there are the other reasons that I feel need to be highlighted to the universe because quite frankly, I'm tired.

Reason 1. It's expensive. Handbags, shoes, make up, new outfits, toiletries, you name it. Now I know you'll reply with 'But you don't need all that stuff!' Or 'No one is forcing you to wear make up!' That's like saying 'You don't need to wear clothes in public!' Of course we need that stuff! That stuff is what make us feel good and happy, ready to take on the world one Bridget Jones moment after another! 

Reason 2. We have to wear bras. Now I realise I sound like a huge feminist but its not what you think. We make out we love wearing bras because of all the pretty lace and silk and it makes us feel sexy but we're just leading you on. 90% of the time we stick to the same old ugly bra because it's comfortable. But that 'comfort' flies out the window on week's like this when Britain gets its one week of summer and wearing a bra under 28°c becomes a form of torture that not even Christian Grey would inflict in his red room of pain (the heat and restriction of my bra has lowered me to cheap jokes).

Reason 3. We have to endure the 'lad' culture. The lad culture is a recent and unfortunate craze that has hit younger generations of the opposite sex and removed any brain cells of decency in the process. It mostly tends to happen in the university environment or the watering hole aka a pub/bar. These were once attended by chivalrous men. Such chivalry has now reversed into the ways of the cavemen. For example I went to a gathering at a  friends on Friday night attended by all my friends who I mostly hadn't seen since Christmas. One of my so called guy friends has unfortunately caught the 'lad' disease and continued to demean me and my best friend every time we aired our opinions instead of sitting there quietly like the rest of our girl friends. Victims of lad disease tend to wear t-shirts a size too small as to highlight their 'lad' figure, spend more time in the mirror in the morning then most women do and genuinely believe every female within 10 meters of them wants to be with them. If you experience the unpleasant company of a 'lad' just tell them to put their claws away and offer them a tampon with their attitude. It normally manages to shut them up and deter any further demeaning behaviour. 

Reason 4. We are really seasonal creatures. Now we make out we are all about summer for the floaty dresses, pretty bikinis and cocktails by the beach in the sun. This is all a lie women tell themselves to justify and cover the horrors of summer preparation. We nearly kill ourselves with 6 months of dieting for 1 week in a bikini, go on a quest to find a flattering bikini, so far and wide it makes frodos journey to destroy the ring look like a walk in a park and lastly, I won't even get started on the leg shaving and waxing. We prefer winter because we can hide behind cute and cosey knitwear as well a getting away without shaving our our legs for 3 months. Hurry up autumn!

Reason 5. We have to live with the guilt of making men feel bad. We moan and cry about how hard women get it and then we have a moodswing there and a moodswing here whilst you run around trying to make us feel better, all to which we feel guilty about later. It's ever so tiring!

Gosh I'm exhausted just from writing this blog post. Excuse me whilst I remove my bra, get into my pyjamas and watch Bridget Jones.

L.Bel xoxo

P.s. AND we get scrutinised for ordering a pint of beer in public! What the hell is that about?!


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