Saturday, 4 May 2013

The Confessions Of A Single Student...

I bet I can tell what you're thinking, she's going to spill all her dirty secrets. Well you thought wrong! Shame on you! I haven't got any naughty secrets, I'm a good girl!...

I wanted to talk to you about the real confessions of a single student. Now I can't speak for all you men out there, god knows what goes on in that head of yours! I speak for the single ladies of university, and maybe single ladies in general. Don't hesitate to tell me how you feel on the following matter...

Something strange happens the moment you begin university  Almost as though it happens instantly over night. Let me paint you a picture. You are care free. You are unstoppable. Your biggest fears are not passing your A levels to get into your dream university, not looking hot to trot in your new summer bikini on the sticky beaches of Malia or if your future flatmates are going to be something like the cast of the Rocky Horror Show. But never-the-less, you get your grades and off you go, into a new city, a new home, a new life. And then it begins, that downward spiral of singleton.... 'Where is my husband?!'

What on earth is she on about? you may say...

Welcome to Singletown, population: me.

Being single at uni seems like all fun and games at first but by the end of your first year you're starting to think 'wait a minute...everyone is pairing off...why aren't I?' and the next thing you know you're returning home to a summer of your closest friends practically engaged to that boy they met on that social dressed up like a drag queen on that student night in that bar. You think they're odd? Well think again, you're the odd one for not returning with a new piece of arm candy. 

And it doesn't stop there, your parents are on the verge of submitting you to a psychiatric ward because surely it is not possible for you to have passed through your first year of university without meeting the man you're going to marry purely due to everyone they know, including themselves, meeting their partners in the first 30 seconds of moving into halls!!! It couldn't possibly cross their mind that you just haven't met the right guy yet. No, not an ice cubes chance in hell.  They assume you are the problem and you should start saving for your 7 cats as we speak. 

Now at the end of my penultimate year at university, my parents have started saving for that basement conversion where I shall be living with my 7 cats and supermarket sized freezer to stock the only men I need in my life, 'Ben & Jerry'. 

You think I'm joking.

When did it suddenly become the tradition to be married and pregnant by 21?!  All I have learnt from this is that I am slowly becoming the Bridget Jones of my generation. Oh how I can't wait for the years of 'How's that non existent love life of yours going?' pity talks from friends and families. Will I be shunned from society forever for being single past 20?! Quick...someone get me the hotline for the local cattery, this crazy lady needs to stock up!

Will it be this way forever? Is there anyone out there that can reassure me that I needn't rush to M&S for those oh so famous stomach holding in granny pants yet? Whatever happened to all those 'I don't need a man' motives anyway. Pretty sure that's just a lie told by single women out there to make themselves feel better and shield the judgement leaking over them from couplesville.

So next time you see a single girl back from university, may they be your friend, daughter, granddaughter, niece  cousin etc THINK TWICE before you shatter the confidence of her inner Bridget with those oh so nosey relationship questions. Or at least let her call in her boys Ben and Jerry for reinforcements first!

Truth be told, I prefer dogs to cats.

L.Bel xoxo


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